Millie

Since I met Millie, I have like that name.

She was about twenty years older than me when I met her in the early '90's on a group tour of Costa Rica. Actually, it was her husband that first caught my attention. As Bob read each page of his paperback book, he torn off the page. I was sitting on the bus across the aisle from him and I could not believe what I was seeing. This couple were unique in many ways this being the less of them.

Millie explain to me in a boring factual manner, "Oh, Bob, never feels the need to pass on books and he is eliminating the weight of the book as he read it."

If I have met anyone person in my life that embodied wisdom and fun, openness and self acceptance, it was Millie. She was so full of life and yet she had a heart condition, had challenges and blessings of both extremes. Many of things she told during that tour are precious sentences that have stayed with me.

On fashion, "I would not know where to start in a department store, it is too confusing and time consuming. I go to the local village woman's shop. The lady there teaches me how to tie a bow, what necklace to wear with each dress. "

On retirement, "We seriously look at different spots and honestly we could have settled anywhere there was a college. In the end, we stayed in our home, because our only grandchild lives a block away. "

Bob and Millie had two children, Bob ran a Wall Street large investment fund and Millie started a reading clinic in Harlem in the late sixties after her younger one was settled in boarding school. Those were the years after Harlem had the riots. I asked her if she had any incidences where she was frightened. She answered twice.

"Once sitting on the empty subway late in the evening, the door open and a gang of kids, loud and running, came on the car. I realize my mistake by sitting at the end of the car instead of the middle and became conscious of being totally alone in the subway car. They were coming toward me when suddenly, a girl spoke, 'Miss Millie, remember me, I am Emmy, I was in your school.' Oh, was I happy to see her!"

The other time involved a her battery of her car was dead and she walking in a bar about 10 clock, explained to the bartender while a full bar of black men looked on. He and a couple men arranged everything for her. Needless, to say her husband was panic that night waiting for her.

Two of the volunteers at her reading clinic were John and Caroline. Millie liked both of them and said they always introduced themselves by using only their first name.

The other political story she told involved Clinton. They did not contribute to campaigns. At first, she said they did not have that kind of money, then she said, well, maybe it has more to do with choice where to spend money. One of Millie's neighbor's was hosting a fund raiser for the Clinton's for his first run and it was turning out to be the party of the year. She still declined on the principle of not being a political donor. In the end, Millie was asked to host at the front door. The neighbor wanted them there money or no money.

As the evening processed Bill asked Millie where she was from and she replied with her slight southern accent West Memphis. Clinton said he could not believe that because that was all black share cropping country. Millie explained that her father, a young lawyer died leaving his wife and three daughters with only one asset, some land. Millie's mother was determine to learn to grow cotton so they moved to West Memphis . All the daughters went to Vassar on scholarship. Millie said the magic of Clinton is simply that, when he speaks to a person, the rest of the room no longer exists.

A couple years after our trip. John and I spent an evening with Millie and Bob at their home. I sensed something had happened because our corresponds dropped off for no reason. Millie explained the joy of their daughter's marriage had followed a year later with a deformed, mentally handicap child. The next year her pregnancy was terminated after they realized the fetus had no brain.

Sadly, the young couple had honeymooned in Costa Rica because of the Millie and Bob's review of the country. While on that trip the daughter had pet a wild cat at the B&B infecting herself. She was not capable of having healthy children.

It was a sweet, sad evening. I felt Millie's deep pain. Her daughter-in-law was close by but a workaholic and little interest in her child. Millie was hoping for healthy grandchildren to full her last years.

They lived as any older people often do in two rooms all day, the kitchen and a sitting room with lots of sun for reading and the radio and a little t.v. Millie had no interest in cooking so food was an issue, the deli or a cook on Saturday for a weeks worth of meals prepared. Their world had peeled down to each other and contact with their family. Shortly, after that visit, I knew that our friendship would fade. Ironically, this is the neighborhood where the Clintons now own a home.

Millie is one of the reasons I love to travel.