State Dinners

Last night while watching some of the broadcasted part of the State Dinner for the Prime Minister of India, I was thinking, this is a lot like the Miss American pageant for me.

When I was a little girl of about ten we got our first television along with most of other houses of the neighborhood. It was put in a room off the living room we called the sun room, there were three channels and we sat in the dark in the evening watching the world invade our lives. Television was a little like going to the movies. That August for the first time, I watched the Miss American pageant.

Now every little girl in American knew in her heart that she could grow up and be on that stage. We were all told that we were pretty or beautiful by our parents and with a little help of those glamorous dresses, anyone of us could be crowned.

Last night, I asked John what do you think I need to do to get an invitation to a state dinner. His answer included something about, well, he would be going with me.

Then I remember my dream of going to be Miss America, only this is a grown up version of that type dream. It is probably in the stars I never made it to Atlantic City--it is seems so silly now, that I wanted to go.

State dinner, now, I would shop for a new dress! It is silly to shop ahead of time, though.

It was great

California is one of the most naturally beautiful regions of the world. It has everything, the sea, the mountains, the desserts, the forests and a variety of plants unmatched. My favorite drive in the world is Highway One along the coast of California.

"California is unsustainable", a comment made the other night to me. His forefathers came to California in the 1880. The population has misused the land and water so badly was the point he was making. The water coming out of the facet in most area is undrinkable because of the use of fertilizers and in some cases one does not even want to bath or shower in the water because it smells so strongly. In other places, like the silicon valley, it is the production of high tech industry without safe guards, that is the problem for the water. Everywhere the talk is that there is a shortage of water or at less a total misuse of water.

The air above parts of California is world famous.

Desserts were placed on earth as a balance to the rain forests, turn them into residential neighborhoods and the results are that sometimes there will be high wind fires and somethings there will mud slides.

California is a bellwether for the rest of us as a college professor said in the seventies in one of my classes. We let them try out the ideas and the country will adopt some and some we will pass by. This year, I understand, California is going to be 4 billion dollars short and it jumps to 20 billion each year for the next four years. Lots of analyzes will be done about what when wrong and each of us will have a pet theory.

It made my heart happy to see the students at Berkeley protesting the hike in tuition. We all know that Bush did not use the draft for the current wars because of the students but at last, they have taken to the streets. In the every great movement in this country, the people in the streets changed things. Maybe these students will start a movement across this country about the corrupt systems that have develop in recent history and do something about changing it. Their energy is needed to start the movement.

Shower for the mind

After watching the news last night I needed a shower for my mind.

The right religious zealots have called by way of a psalm "make his children orphans and his wife a widow". After naming Obama a Hitler, an anti-Christ among other names now it the out right call for murder. The Taliban does the same thing in the name of their holy scripture. No one of courage, from the right, in this country are naming the game for what it is, it is extremism. It is the American Taliban. Using a psalm and putting on a bumper sticker, doesn't that offend all Americans? Someone mentally unstable...

We are watching the collapse of an empire, we can't change what we don't acknowledge.

Goldman's CEO says the bonuses are because they are doing God's work. Let's all pause for a moment to wrap our logic around this thought. Nope it does not make sense. Jesus wanted the money changers out of the temple, not to destroy the temple but drive the money changers out. Religion and banking don't mix.

We are watching the collapse of an empire, we can't change what we don't acknowledge.

XI (Blackwater) besides dressing in coconuts for parties, involved in war profiteering, wholesale murder and all crimes known to the human race represents me as an American. The evil of this largest mercenary army in the history of wars has surpassed the CIA in destruction of America's goodness. Jared Diamond wrote of the collapse of cultures and we are witnessing one each day on the news.

One in five children live in a household where food runs short. Congress can afford a million dollars per solider per year while the family is on food stamp at home. These soldiers are doing the work for large corporations involving the transfer of oil pipelines.

Nations no longer control armies or policies. The International corporations without boarders are writing the greed policies. We are lazy, indifferent, ignorant. As the Romans said just enough food and the circus, or 250 channels.


Our nation's soul has lost it's light and the days of this empire are few. I understand why watching the news covers me with mental slime and shame. I can't understand why few Americans have the same outrage.

Chickens on wet, dark,windy days

My chickens prefer to be outdoors on days that the comfort of the plastic covered pen or the coop would be my choice. The more I learn from my chickens the more I am beginning to believe that our modern life has robbed from us enough interacting with the natural world. For the next 24 hours we are could have wind gusts up to 40-50 miles per hour. The coop is rock solid but the added plastic cover pen in back of the coop is an issue. I remind myself in the middle of the night that the sparrows and robins are out there somewhere also.

The excitement displayed toward me any time the chickens see me is consistent, so I make a point of not disappointing them and always bring some greens, some rolled oats or kitchen scraps. This afternoon after throwing in a few leaves of kale I watched one of the chicken hold down the stem with her foot to better eat from the other portion. Was that an accident? Just how instinctive are their tiny brains?

The garden catlogs for 2010 are appearing as emails to me. I love to see what new seeds varieties they are promoting.

The power to decide

Today at the library I run into a fellow classmate from yoga class. We exchanged comments and then she asked me how the practice is going. I answered her by saying, "I am not doing any of it."

Her eyes got big, her smile and laugh was instant and she appeared embarrassed for me. You know the expression, as if one has seeing someone you know do something in public like dumping a coffee on the floor or their credit card will not work or they have a scream child. "Oh my, I am sorry, I am here this moment."

I explained that I enjoyed the class and felt it was well worth my time but there was no way I plan to sit in a painful position and do this routine for 30 minutes a day. Quickly, she said it was also an uncomfortable position for her too.

The benefits of what was taught to us involve a lot to do with different breathing exercises while sitting cross legged. This is a position that is hard to start in the fourth quarter of life- not impossible but hard. Frankly, I have given thought to doing them while sitting in a chair, in a quiet room and on a regular bases and seeing if I reap any benefits.

This class taught me a couple other things that I know but consciously don't think about much. Our society is set up in a way that many people have no family, no one they love and many have become so isolated. Work places involved more machines today interacting with other than people in the flesh. What we produce involved more paper than items to feed or services or contributions to each others daily needs. These lonely people are turning to animals for love. Stories from class made me conscious of these facts again.

Talking about animals. Liz, the black hen, has giving up sitting on the golf balls. She has now joined the rest of the flock in daily yard time and is one noisy ones. At this point, I can't tell if she is doing her share of laying eggs but I get five every other day with this daily light.

I smiled when I saw Martha Stewart's hen house. You can see it on the internet--over the top lovely. Hen houses, as one of my friends told me, doesn't matter what you do they will make a mess of it. Add to the fact that I have slowly added pieces of fencing to keep them from flying out of their yard, plastic to cover areas to keep it dry for them. That little area of my lot is quickly becoming shanty town! I smile to myself and think of Martha Stewart.

"isn't it so" - Yoga anew

I accidentally became a student of an India Guru last week.

I sign up for one week intense yoga class that suggested that my energy level would improve with this practice. Having practice yoga for the last four winters to strength physically my muscles in general and my back in particular, I look at this newspaper story as another step of growth and understanding of this process.

This experience was leaps beyond the prescribed practice of the 'Y' yoga.

Sadhguru is well known guru as 25 years in India and 11 years on the international scene with a new site in Tennessee. I found him to be charismatic, bright, funny and engaging. A combination of Gandhi, an inspiring college professor and a retired Marine. Sadhguru's appears came by way of film each session while a traveling disciple conducted the class locally. In my case, the young attractive woman was from Lebanon who has been in the program for seven years by way of India and teaching for a couple years around the world.

It expanded my thinking more than my physical being. In fact, I will not be doing the physical routine taught by this class because my needs are not more ideas of enlightenment but strengthening of my body. The idea of sitting cross legged for a half an hour is not want I need. This body needs strengthening and stretching. But the discussions of philosophy will stay with me and perhaps influence more and more how I view the world.

Two of these that struck me were the role of women and the role of creativity.

Sadhguru started by saying, "men do not know what to do with women" as he laughed and continued, "isn't it so". Men are superior in only one way and that is strength, in all other ways they are equal. Men don't realize it is woman's ability to be subtle it what make women superior. Many cultures allow men to control power over women though marriage, government and religion. Think of Muslim countries that often blend all three forms of control over women, think of religions as in the Mormons that use women as breeding persons or Hindus as marriage contracts to enrich wealth. Then there are the Christian or Jewish religions that simply can't share power roles with women in the religious communities. "Isn't it so". For the last century women has won some freedom and equality in different part of the world but think about it, if upheaval comes, men with their strength again take over, Sadhguru points out. They hide their women from the invading soldiers and put them into servitude in the house or granary. Power, strength and equality all discussed in a new way.

"Enough creativity, already!" I was shocked to hear those words. You mean, my painting, my writing and the poems I think about are too much?

The thought behind stopping creativity is that it is ruining the planet. Think of the invention of the last hundred years and what affect it has had on the planet. Slowly, I made the list and each one of them has it had an impacted on the natural world and mostly in a negative way, in fact, the science bares this out. I have never thought of it, in these terms before. Cars, airplanes, plastics, industusrial sizing of production are all negative to the enviroment.

Species are constantly declining, the list includes everything from the ocean. Globally, will be in 100 percent collapse by 2048 by Dr. Worm and eleven other scientists from Canada in Science magazine studies show.

With a human population pushing seven billion, this world wrapped in plastic, GMO seeds, fuel, fertilizers, the forests, the water and the air are all affected. It is time to think about stopping the technical inventions.

I remember the firefly, I have heard that the bees are in trouble but now I am thinking that creativity is something to reconsider.

Sadhguru is a master teacher and he has given me something to think about in a new way. I will share more later

Lilies of the Field

Without the ability to survive trials of difficulties, I would have never develops any personal strength. That is something so deep in my being that sometimes I don't recognize it's importance.

Anyone that knows my life knows that I was divorced with two small children at a young age, returned to college to finish my education while basically living one month away from food stamps. Then after a brief marriage of less than two years, widowed.

The point of remembering this fact is, that without these contrasts, I would never have figured out what I wanted out of my life. Those years were confusing, painful, questioning of all the norms that I was raised within my family, school and religion. I was searching for sanity. I wanted to know what rules of living my life, raising my children would work. I could not use a standard chart when every exception of normal long life were experienced before I was 33 years old.

Always the answers are provided by Providence.

I had a bookstore.

Heaven knows, I was not a literature or English major, so this was a little detour. The first job as manager, I got because of my ability to lift boxes of books, organize and direct other people. I did not expect to get the job and when they offered the assistant manager's job I said no because I needed the money of the top job. They gave it to me immediately.

My Mother never read a book to me in all of my childhood, probably more to do with her schedule than her interest in doing it. She loving sang Irish songs to me and I remember them. Our home had few books but Mother did talk about a childhood of going to free concerts and lectures, valued education and we did have a library card.

My business sense and natural curiosity made up for much I lacked in many fields of knowledge. Those years of the bookstore gave me a free opportunity to search for my answers of what I want, what I needed to raise my children and lead a joyful, happy life. All the popular psychology of the 70's help me figure out what I was going to do about surviving my life and forming the dream.

Recently, I have been reading about what makes life work, how we allow Providence to give us what we need.

It reminds me of my bookstore days.