Cleaning out the closet, reviewing the future.

I guess the end of the calendar year is something like the end of a college semester. It is time to sell the old books, clean out the closet and start fresh. Time to revoke, reveal and renew.

The first thing, I have learn in the last year that gray hair makes me look older, looking more like my mother did in her senior years. It would be simple to start coloring my hair again but I can't bring myself to be a servant to it. My life has become about health, not looks. I do realize I have to be conscious of wearing more makeup to look attractive, alive and healthy.

Building that chicken coop was one of the hardest things I under took last year, that is second thing I realize. The main difficulty was I could not do it myself and so I was depended on my crew but also because I am not strong enough to handle the electric tools nor do I have the skill.

I studied styles and designs of coops for a month and settled on one and ordered the plans. I figured out the materials with conversations with guys at the local stores.

Then I realized it was like watching the same ballet 100 times and in your head, you know all the moves and the music but one you stand up to do it, the body will not follow.

My crew included, John, my husband, I would describe as indifferent to negative on the whole idea of chickens. That is simply his nature about any change or new thing, so I quickly worked around him. John was presence at each work shift, often was a key help, balanced by sitting and keeping us company other times.

Phil, my brother, the most knowledgeable about tools and a key worker. I found Phil's plan of building to be toward the extreme of overbuilding. Phil's ideas reflect experience of skill but his coop will be here all after all this crew had died.

Ken, my son, the strongest of the individuals on this project was content is the nail came close to the second board and felt the coop could have been assembled in one easy afternoon. His casual, care free manner was about the opposite of Phil's. His wiliness to constantly show up to the garage for more work was key to finishing.

Frequently, presence were two grandchildren Mira age seven and Ahman age five. They were helpful in picking up all the dropped nails, screws and running for the item missing. Of course, they were truly behind this whole project from the beginning and the three of us shared a vision that we still have about the chickens.

We built it for about a third of the cost of having it built for us but I probably would not do it undertake this building project again. A loud vote yes for the chickens, though.

The third thing, I remember from last year is spring fruit tree planting that included two plum trees, four apple trees and two nut trees plus three kiwi vines. Oh, plus the new research bed for the Japanese blueberries It sound like a lot to add to the yard but the trees are on wood that should not grow much taller than a bush six to eight feet.

This brings me to a major shift about my edible landscape. The soil is a boring subject but an very interesting one at the same time. Can't harvest taste or health from dead or unbalanced soil. I have changed my focus for the next year to the soil. Manure, oyster shells, kitchen garbage composted, are all part of the new plan. I am going to replicate a 1940 approach to home gardening before commercial petroleum fertilizers were used.

Ultimately, the longest and most lasting change of the past year is the acceptance of the fact, that I am getting more radical, as I grow older. I am sorting though the institutions that have giving the double talk for centuries in some cases, like religious groups or the political systems that have rusted out with greed and corruption. My role of being active instead of passive about the condition of this planet, the direction of social change has already started but I see it continuing in a more intense manner.

One finial note on my life this past year. John and I have started a traditional that plays out in two ways, both involve wine. Some glorious, sunny but cool days of fall, winter or spring we let the chickens out of the coop and let them run the yard, while we have lunch outside. These lunches we call, Paris Lunches, because if we were visiting Paris we would get an outside table and enjoy a simple sandwich or soup with a glass of wine. We simply eliminated the flight. The other season of the year, summer, when the afternoon has finally quieted down and it is time to stop working, we let the chickens out in the yard and we sit and watch them with a glass of wine. Daisy is always near by and the conversation is always about our day's projects.

Yes, I call my life, a designer's life. It is. Hope yours is too. Happy New Year to all.

Quest for perfection

My Mother would have been 92 yesterday. One of the funny things about my Mother was her ideas about Christmas Trees.

Growing up in Tucson during the depression her family had a little green artificial object that sat on a table that stood in for the large living floor model. As an adult she had strong ideas of what a tree should be for the household.

Each year during my childhood I remember the discussion about a week before Christmas about the tree. Between Mother's artistic sense of perfection and Dad's idea of being frugal it took over the house for at less 24 hours. Some years it could be running for three days up to the whole of the holiday season.

Dad always bought the tree at the parish tree lot and preferred to do it about a week before Christmas hoping to get in on at less one of the markdowns that occurred for late tree buyers. These trees by nature were the looked over, passed over group. The lots were usually frozen, snowy and the tree were frequently tall green sticks with limbs tied up.

After a day of thawing in the tree stand the true shape of the tree was showing and Mother critical eye came into judgment. She would sit in a living room corner chair and as one of us stood next to the tree. We would slowly rotate it to see the best features, the fullest sized and possibly, hide the fact that the tree plainly leaning because the trunk was crook it.

Rarely, was the tree up to her standards. Of course, Mother was not about to enter a tree lot and walk on that icy surface or stand and shake snow off a dozen trees looking for perfection. She had no idea, how cold and wet a Christmas tree lot was and how early the light is gone in the December afternoon. Thank heavens, for the pool room in the basement, it got Mother's first rejections, crook it stem and all, with garbage ornaments.

Now, it would be misleading to remember my childhood Christmas trees as if they were like the woodcuts in great books or the photos of magazines. No, my childhood trees were treasured but by all standards, they had too few lights and ornaments that had been mis-packed and faded over the years.

All of this came fresh to my mind Christmas evening while sitting at Ken's house and looking at his tree and the voice out of my body was saying, "how much did pay for that tree?",,,,"that was too much" ,,,,"look at the top 10 inches, what in the world happens to it?" ,,, Ken's reply was, "Mom, tell me what you really think!"....I could not help but laugh along with Phil and Ken at the sound of my voice and the reincarnation of my Mother. Soon, everyone was laughing at the craziness of my stories about Christmas trees and my Mother.

We had such a delightful evening laughing. It was a lovely Christmas. Mira, like me, at eight years old is in charge of putting the lights and ornaments. Somethings are traditional.

A Fairy Tale

Ellison Bay, Wisconsin has about 250 residences, is known now, as a resort town in Door County. Settled in the mid 1800's by pioneers, mostly from Scandinavian Countries that fished and did lumbering along the shores of Green Bay. Much of it's charm is due to the unchanging nature of the village since the 1940's. A few art galleries, a Pioneer Store that serves as their seven/eleven store and a couple well-known eateries plus the post office and two churches make up the village today.

Perhaps it's most famous resident is Ted Olson, the conservative, Solicitor General of President Bush. Olson was instrumental winning the Supreme Court case for Bushes first term in office. Barbara Olson his wife was a public media figure.

Barbara was on flight 77 on 9/11, and reported by Ted, to have made two short phone calls. These are very important calls because it from those calls came the words, "box cutter or cardboard cutters". These words were the reason all of us around the world now line up at airports and get searched. That is the only phone call that uses those words, that introduced those words to the world.

The FBI in a trial in 2006 enter evidence about all the phone calls on the day of 9/11. Barbara Olson made one cell phone call, it was unconnected. The plane did not have an installed phone system.

Theodore B. Olson told the world about box cutters. It is a fairy tale. The phone calls never happened. Did he lie or was he duped?

In the meantime, we have all become sheep lining up, the wool hanging over our eyes afraid to say the wrong words at the airport handing over our forgotten nail clippers, pocket knives, wine openings. All for the most famous man from Ellison Bay, Wisconsin.

The Canadian Broadcasting system has done stories on this and many short you tube stories also cover it. It is never mentioned in the United States media. The sheep herders would not allow it.

A long term relationship

In the early seventies my first job out of college, the second try at higher education was successful, was managing a Walden Bookstore. Actually, that period of my life could be considered getting an advance degree, that job gave me so many opportunities to learn about the world. One of the side items of this job was to keep up on all new books and what better place that the New York Times weekly book review. We sold it separately each week and I began my long relationship with the NYT.

Gradually, I found the Sunday Travel section as I was always dreaming of the day when I would be rich enough to travel. I started buying the Sunday paper just to read the travel section. I made mental notes of the places, the best priced hotels, the monuments not to miss, the little known treasures, the best travel deals, the endless list began to grow. I sometimes would cut out pieces that were featured and saved them knowing that I would someday need it. At this time, the NYT's travel section was perhaps 12 to 20 pages weekly. It was my favorite reading of the week.

Over time, I expanded my interest to the rest of the paper and enjoyed the idea that this paper represented the best of paper writing in the country. It was a paper read by all the leaders of the world and the editorials were discussed and quoted everywhere.

Where young couple of society were honeymooning, the latest plays on Broadway and what artists were on exhibit at the MET all because part of my weekly information meal. I lived beyond my physical world of Green Bay.

This relationship has had it difficult moments as when we week-ended in Door County, I learned you have to reserve a paper at the gas station or there were none to buy. Then a few years ago the NYT decided that Judith Miller was a star reporter and the paper became an extension of the propaganda machine for the war effort after 9/11. I terminated our relationship when Bill Kritol was hired to write for them. The paper had lost it focus of being the fourth estate, in my opinion.

Well, time and patience has bought me back. Those two writers are no longer on the staff and my memories of so many enjoyment moments, I gave myself a Christmas prize this year and I now get the home delivery daily of the New York Times.

Our relationship continues.

Morning Light

Below my computer window are three white birch trees, one red barked Japanese maple and one very large lacy pine tree, with the moisture and the early morning light, they make a painting. We are having a sunny winter day.

I am planning an Italian dinner for Shuchi's 40th birthday. Eggplant Caponata,(mixture of cold vegs with olives ect. to put of crackers or bread) Paccheri (large tube of pasta) stuffed with tomato and Cauliflower sformato (a bechamel custard baked with cauliflower) with a birthday cake of tiramisu (bought at Costco). Today I will have to get the children to help me do a couple Italian flags for the atmosphere of the party. This thought of an Italian theme came to me yesterday went I saw some imported Italian paccheri at a grocery store. I have never cooked that before or the other recipes.

Nothing is positive in the wide world, it is all bad.

Read a quote today.

Herman Goering, Hitler’s second in command, explained the concept of war when he was standing trial at the Nuremberg Trials for war crimes,
"Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

What word

I read a discussion on Naked Capitalism this morning about the need for a new word to understand the greed of Wall Street Bankers. It is so overwhelming, that current terms do not handle it for our brains. Well, I only partly agree.

Corporations have only one goal and that is profit and corporations possess no conscious. I have come to believe that our Supreme Court in allowing corporations to have the privileges of persons has created this problem. Corporations are a business form that were originally design to last 20 years or less, put together investors to build a railroad for instances. When they got all the protections that an individual is guaranteed by the constitution, our way of life in America changed. Corporations have no loyalty to the community, no sense of the dedication of the workers, no concern about the air or water that would affect the future generations by their nature, Corporations are about profit.

Corporations are also sociopaths. We all are governed by doing the right thing even when no one is present because we have a conscious. We don't go though the red light, we turn in found wallets and we don't dump poisons in the water because we have a conscious.

The health insurance company that cuts off care to a sick person, a banker that tricks a person on the loan or a credit card rate and a pharmacy company that lies about research has no conscious. We living in a society that is controlled by corporations that are sociopaths. It is developed to the point that they have taken over our government starting by the Supreme Court, the Congress and now they control who gets elected President.

The only fear they have is our vote. We can with our vote punish those who act against our best interest. Is it in the interest of our country that one senator, Lieberman, rewrite a health care bill? Or is it in our interest that ten senators want a tax break included in a stimulant bill and in the end don't vote for it anyway? They simply run up the cost. Is it in our interest that corporations hire over 125 former military generals/leaders to lobby at the Pentagon?

The country is broken. All of us feel it.

We have different solutions. Punishment must be given to those that vote against our best interest is the only power we really have. That and rioting in the streets.

100 years

The first Seattle World's Fair was in 1909. It is famous for a few things like making money while being a non-alcoholic event and a major show of trade for the Pacific countries mainly Japan. Finally, it was built on now what is the campus of the University of Washington. That campus is widely thought as one of the most beautiful campuses of the U.S. partly because of the views and the lay out of boulevards that go back to the fair. All these facts are minor in a way, compared to one little recorded in history, the car race.

This fair offered the first cross country automobile race from New York City to Seattle with a large purse to the winner. Most of the companies entering cars had names long forgotten by all except car officiators and most of those cars were very heavy over 3,000 lbs. There was one odd entry, by an unknown man named Henry Ford, weighting around 1,000 lbs.

The race was over land without roads, markers or help. Endless muddy, being lost and breakdowns though the plains, desert and mountains.

In the end, the nearly bankrupt Henry Ford's car came in second. The publicity was overwhelming and he got the needed financing to start production. A few days later, his car was disqualified because they had changed the engine during the course of the race. History was on the move and coming in second or being disqualified did not change the outcome.

Henry Ford started building the model T, all 15 million of them, for the next 19 years.

One foot note to cars, I read last week that people that have long commutes in heavy traffic are more likely to get brain tumors. It is the fine particles that they breathe the article said.

Now, I feel more comfortable using my cell phone after reading this as the cause of brain tumors.

How would they measure up?

Last night, the senators did their work for the health care industry and the reason we know that is we can see what the stock market did today. This group of legislators working in behalf of their sponsors took off the hands of the insurance companies another group of high risk people, all of them over age 55. The voting public can be told that change has happened, that all senators deserve re-election and all insurance companies will continue to operate as money laundries doing nothing for anyone's health.

I wonder how these individuals would survive in on their own or in a small community where each person has to prove their valor and skill? Wonder how they would measure of against the figures in history, these great men of our country?

Jack Weatherford wrote a brilliant book called GENGHIS KHAH AND THE MAKING OF THE MODERN WORLD. We were told in grade school that Genghis Khan ruthless nomad warrior and looted the civilized world. The Mongol army never numbered more than 100,000 warriors, yet they subjugated more lands and people in twenty-five years than the Romans conquered in four hundred. If we understood this fact alone it would make sense to study his genius and apply some of it to today's world, seems The United States like to be at war continuously.

Secondly, Genghis Khan formed governments with laws above rulers, freedoms and educational systems, institutionalize free trade, encourage religious freedom. The list of his accomplishments are too long write here. One thing I admire is simple, the Mongols never forced their language, their gods, their architectural style- their culture- on the conquered territories unlike the Romans, the British , the Dutch or the Spanish or dare I say the Americans. They did spread knowledge of medicine, science, music and crafts to local people everywhere unlike like other civilizations that did it mainly in a centralize capitol.

There was a book in the 70's that listed the most important individuals that ever lived, Genghis Khan made the top of the list. The reason was he united the eastern or western parts of the earth and started trade routes that spread all knowledge, trade and food. Guess the book is out of print. The way the religious wars of recent times have started up again, whoever published an updated verision, would put their leader as the top man, no doubt!

Leprechauns

"Grandma, do you believe in leprechauns?", asked by six year old grandson, Ahman.

"Of course, I do and I also believe in a tree frogs that I hear that lives near here. I hear them all the time. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I have seen tree frogs but I have never seen a leprechaun but I believe in them."

"I believe in things I have never seen, Ahman" I answered.

"Me, too. I know there are leprechaun because last St. Patrick's Day I couldn't find anything green to wear and yet I never got pinched. It is because the leprechaun likes me because I am a good drummer."

"Probably, the reason."

"Do you know how tall they are?"

"No."

"As tall as my arm. You want to know something else, Grandma, the leprechaun left me two KitKats on the drums one day. They were just sitting there for me."

"I thought your favorite candy bar was Snicker."

"Nope, I switched to KitKats."

It is wonderful to have people in my life that believe in Leprechauns, Elves, Tooth Fairies and Angels.

State Dinners

Last night while watching some of the broadcasted part of the State Dinner for the Prime Minister of India, I was thinking, this is a lot like the Miss American pageant for me.

When I was a little girl of about ten we got our first television along with most of other houses of the neighborhood. It was put in a room off the living room we called the sun room, there were three channels and we sat in the dark in the evening watching the world invade our lives. Television was a little like going to the movies. That August for the first time, I watched the Miss American pageant.

Now every little girl in American knew in her heart that she could grow up and be on that stage. We were all told that we were pretty or beautiful by our parents and with a little help of those glamorous dresses, anyone of us could be crowned.

Last night, I asked John what do you think I need to do to get an invitation to a state dinner. His answer included something about, well, he would be going with me.

Then I remember my dream of going to be Miss America, only this is a grown up version of that type dream. It is probably in the stars I never made it to Atlantic City--it is seems so silly now, that I wanted to go.

State dinner, now, I would shop for a new dress! It is silly to shop ahead of time, though.

It was great

California is one of the most naturally beautiful regions of the world. It has everything, the sea, the mountains, the desserts, the forests and a variety of plants unmatched. My favorite drive in the world is Highway One along the coast of California.

"California is unsustainable", a comment made the other night to me. His forefathers came to California in the 1880. The population has misused the land and water so badly was the point he was making. The water coming out of the facet in most area is undrinkable because of the use of fertilizers and in some cases one does not even want to bath or shower in the water because it smells so strongly. In other places, like the silicon valley, it is the production of high tech industry without safe guards, that is the problem for the water. Everywhere the talk is that there is a shortage of water or at less a total misuse of water.

The air above parts of California is world famous.

Desserts were placed on earth as a balance to the rain forests, turn them into residential neighborhoods and the results are that sometimes there will be high wind fires and somethings there will mud slides.

California is a bellwether for the rest of us as a college professor said in the seventies in one of my classes. We let them try out the ideas and the country will adopt some and some we will pass by. This year, I understand, California is going to be 4 billion dollars short and it jumps to 20 billion each year for the next four years. Lots of analyzes will be done about what when wrong and each of us will have a pet theory.

It made my heart happy to see the students at Berkeley protesting the hike in tuition. We all know that Bush did not use the draft for the current wars because of the students but at last, they have taken to the streets. In the every great movement in this country, the people in the streets changed things. Maybe these students will start a movement across this country about the corrupt systems that have develop in recent history and do something about changing it. Their energy is needed to start the movement.

Shower for the mind

After watching the news last night I needed a shower for my mind.

The right religious zealots have called by way of a psalm "make his children orphans and his wife a widow". After naming Obama a Hitler, an anti-Christ among other names now it the out right call for murder. The Taliban does the same thing in the name of their holy scripture. No one of courage, from the right, in this country are naming the game for what it is, it is extremism. It is the American Taliban. Using a psalm and putting on a bumper sticker, doesn't that offend all Americans? Someone mentally unstable...

We are watching the collapse of an empire, we can't change what we don't acknowledge.

Goldman's CEO says the bonuses are because they are doing God's work. Let's all pause for a moment to wrap our logic around this thought. Nope it does not make sense. Jesus wanted the money changers out of the temple, not to destroy the temple but drive the money changers out. Religion and banking don't mix.

We are watching the collapse of an empire, we can't change what we don't acknowledge.

XI (Blackwater) besides dressing in coconuts for parties, involved in war profiteering, wholesale murder and all crimes known to the human race represents me as an American. The evil of this largest mercenary army in the history of wars has surpassed the CIA in destruction of America's goodness. Jared Diamond wrote of the collapse of cultures and we are witnessing one each day on the news.

One in five children live in a household where food runs short. Congress can afford a million dollars per solider per year while the family is on food stamp at home. These soldiers are doing the work for large corporations involving the transfer of oil pipelines.

Nations no longer control armies or policies. The International corporations without boarders are writing the greed policies. We are lazy, indifferent, ignorant. As the Romans said just enough food and the circus, or 250 channels.


Our nation's soul has lost it's light and the days of this empire are few. I understand why watching the news covers me with mental slime and shame. I can't understand why few Americans have the same outrage.

Chickens on wet, dark,windy days

My chickens prefer to be outdoors on days that the comfort of the plastic covered pen or the coop would be my choice. The more I learn from my chickens the more I am beginning to believe that our modern life has robbed from us enough interacting with the natural world. For the next 24 hours we are could have wind gusts up to 40-50 miles per hour. The coop is rock solid but the added plastic cover pen in back of the coop is an issue. I remind myself in the middle of the night that the sparrows and robins are out there somewhere also.

The excitement displayed toward me any time the chickens see me is consistent, so I make a point of not disappointing them and always bring some greens, some rolled oats or kitchen scraps. This afternoon after throwing in a few leaves of kale I watched one of the chicken hold down the stem with her foot to better eat from the other portion. Was that an accident? Just how instinctive are their tiny brains?

The garden catlogs for 2010 are appearing as emails to me. I love to see what new seeds varieties they are promoting.

The power to decide

Today at the library I run into a fellow classmate from yoga class. We exchanged comments and then she asked me how the practice is going. I answered her by saying, "I am not doing any of it."

Her eyes got big, her smile and laugh was instant and she appeared embarrassed for me. You know the expression, as if one has seeing someone you know do something in public like dumping a coffee on the floor or their credit card will not work or they have a scream child. "Oh my, I am sorry, I am here this moment."

I explained that I enjoyed the class and felt it was well worth my time but there was no way I plan to sit in a painful position and do this routine for 30 minutes a day. Quickly, she said it was also an uncomfortable position for her too.

The benefits of what was taught to us involve a lot to do with different breathing exercises while sitting cross legged. This is a position that is hard to start in the fourth quarter of life- not impossible but hard. Frankly, I have given thought to doing them while sitting in a chair, in a quiet room and on a regular bases and seeing if I reap any benefits.

This class taught me a couple other things that I know but consciously don't think about much. Our society is set up in a way that many people have no family, no one they love and many have become so isolated. Work places involved more machines today interacting with other than people in the flesh. What we produce involved more paper than items to feed or services or contributions to each others daily needs. These lonely people are turning to animals for love. Stories from class made me conscious of these facts again.

Talking about animals. Liz, the black hen, has giving up sitting on the golf balls. She has now joined the rest of the flock in daily yard time and is one noisy ones. At this point, I can't tell if she is doing her share of laying eggs but I get five every other day with this daily light.

I smiled when I saw Martha Stewart's hen house. You can see it on the internet--over the top lovely. Hen houses, as one of my friends told me, doesn't matter what you do they will make a mess of it. Add to the fact that I have slowly added pieces of fencing to keep them from flying out of their yard, plastic to cover areas to keep it dry for them. That little area of my lot is quickly becoming shanty town! I smile to myself and think of Martha Stewart.

"isn't it so" - Yoga anew

I accidentally became a student of an India Guru last week.

I sign up for one week intense yoga class that suggested that my energy level would improve with this practice. Having practice yoga for the last four winters to strength physically my muscles in general and my back in particular, I look at this newspaper story as another step of growth and understanding of this process.

This experience was leaps beyond the prescribed practice of the 'Y' yoga.

Sadhguru is well known guru as 25 years in India and 11 years on the international scene with a new site in Tennessee. I found him to be charismatic, bright, funny and engaging. A combination of Gandhi, an inspiring college professor and a retired Marine. Sadhguru's appears came by way of film each session while a traveling disciple conducted the class locally. In my case, the young attractive woman was from Lebanon who has been in the program for seven years by way of India and teaching for a couple years around the world.

It expanded my thinking more than my physical being. In fact, I will not be doing the physical routine taught by this class because my needs are not more ideas of enlightenment but strengthening of my body. The idea of sitting cross legged for a half an hour is not want I need. This body needs strengthening and stretching. But the discussions of philosophy will stay with me and perhaps influence more and more how I view the world.

Two of these that struck me were the role of women and the role of creativity.

Sadhguru started by saying, "men do not know what to do with women" as he laughed and continued, "isn't it so". Men are superior in only one way and that is strength, in all other ways they are equal. Men don't realize it is woman's ability to be subtle it what make women superior. Many cultures allow men to control power over women though marriage, government and religion. Think of Muslim countries that often blend all three forms of control over women, think of religions as in the Mormons that use women as breeding persons or Hindus as marriage contracts to enrich wealth. Then there are the Christian or Jewish religions that simply can't share power roles with women in the religious communities. "Isn't it so". For the last century women has won some freedom and equality in different part of the world but think about it, if upheaval comes, men with their strength again take over, Sadhguru points out. They hide their women from the invading soldiers and put them into servitude in the house or granary. Power, strength and equality all discussed in a new way.

"Enough creativity, already!" I was shocked to hear those words. You mean, my painting, my writing and the poems I think about are too much?

The thought behind stopping creativity is that it is ruining the planet. Think of the invention of the last hundred years and what affect it has had on the planet. Slowly, I made the list and each one of them has it had an impacted on the natural world and mostly in a negative way, in fact, the science bares this out. I have never thought of it, in these terms before. Cars, airplanes, plastics, industusrial sizing of production are all negative to the enviroment.

Species are constantly declining, the list includes everything from the ocean. Globally, will be in 100 percent collapse by 2048 by Dr. Worm and eleven other scientists from Canada in Science magazine studies show.

With a human population pushing seven billion, this world wrapped in plastic, GMO seeds, fuel, fertilizers, the forests, the water and the air are all affected. It is time to think about stopping the technical inventions.

I remember the firefly, I have heard that the bees are in trouble but now I am thinking that creativity is something to reconsider.

Sadhguru is a master teacher and he has given me something to think about in a new way. I will share more later

Lilies of the Field

Without the ability to survive trials of difficulties, I would have never develops any personal strength. That is something so deep in my being that sometimes I don't recognize it's importance.

Anyone that knows my life knows that I was divorced with two small children at a young age, returned to college to finish my education while basically living one month away from food stamps. Then after a brief marriage of less than two years, widowed.

The point of remembering this fact is, that without these contrasts, I would never have figured out what I wanted out of my life. Those years were confusing, painful, questioning of all the norms that I was raised within my family, school and religion. I was searching for sanity. I wanted to know what rules of living my life, raising my children would work. I could not use a standard chart when every exception of normal long life were experienced before I was 33 years old.

Always the answers are provided by Providence.

I had a bookstore.

Heaven knows, I was not a literature or English major, so this was a little detour. The first job as manager, I got because of my ability to lift boxes of books, organize and direct other people. I did not expect to get the job and when they offered the assistant manager's job I said no because I needed the money of the top job. They gave it to me immediately.

My Mother never read a book to me in all of my childhood, probably more to do with her schedule than her interest in doing it. She loving sang Irish songs to me and I remember them. Our home had few books but Mother did talk about a childhood of going to free concerts and lectures, valued education and we did have a library card.

My business sense and natural curiosity made up for much I lacked in many fields of knowledge. Those years of the bookstore gave me a free opportunity to search for my answers of what I want, what I needed to raise my children and lead a joyful, happy life. All the popular psychology of the 70's help me figure out what I was going to do about surviving my life and forming the dream.

Recently, I have been reading about what makes life work, how we allow Providence to give us what we need.

It reminds me of my bookstore days.

350

Today's number is 350.

My ancestors had different numbers. The Irish side had the number 1 as their bench mark. Yes, they planted only 1 type of potato and eventually that idea of single food allowed them to multiply, become food independent and over populate Ireland. History tells us that they never considered diversifying, their single food supply cause a famine.

Potatoes comes from Peru and there are over 2.000 varieties. These people understand diversity.

Some of my ancestors settling in America only planted wheat for 10 years because the government paid high prices during WWI. So did every other farmer from Illinois to Texas and Oklahoma. These people plowed up grassland in the center of this country that were thousands of years in the making and exposed the top soil that is created 1 inches every 100 years. Eventually the dust blow so far east it hit Washington, D.C. and was seen 100 miles into the Atlantic Ocean. By then, 8 inches of top soil was gone. Men were talking about new policies in agriculture as the sky became dark on the east coast.

Today's number is 350, it reflects the idea that most scientists think is a safe level of CO2 for planet Earth. Currently, we are heading toward 390. Media in United States, policy makers and the general public are not concern about number 350.

When President Kennedy came to office, the population was 30 billion, our cars were fewer and our homes were smaller and the United States military complex was just starting. Now the military wants to control the fuel of the planet Earth of which they are probably the single largest consumer along with being the single largest land owner of this planet. While we can figure out if 350 is a real number, the Earth is expected to clean up after the 60 billion people for a while longer.

Life has put me on 1/3 of an acre of land, doubt if it is a 1/2 of a dot on the earth. I feel a need to care for it, my ancestors have taught me, numbers do count.

Hens, eggs and golf balls

From the beginning the my hens has been engaging and challenging but one of these mysteries of raising chickens has been going on now for a month. Liz, named after Liz Taylor because of her totally black feathers, is unlike any of the other five hens.

My two beautiful black and white hens, I call the twins. They are largest of the group and now I find them to be the most assertive and top of the pecking order. I often make up a cereal mixture, or have food scraps from the dinner table and I serve it in two plastic long dishes in their coop. Without fail, these two hens control who eats first and are particularly aggressive toward my two red hens. Liz usually is not seen at this feeding moments.

One of the red hens is called Autumn because she displays the colors much like a pheasant in autumn colors, she is the best layer, blue/green eggs and is an Americana breed. I find her intense on the business of being herself. Unlike any of the other hens she has a little puff of feathers on the side of her head that stick straight out, I understand that is over her ears.

The other red hen is called Red. She is my best flier. She manages to get out on average once a day. Red is probably the lightest in weight and is the smartest of the birds. As I leave the house, Red comes to greeting from behind a raised bed or from a far corner of the yard. I walk toward the coop shaking some oats in a container she will follow me and easily go back in as she has missed the rest of the flock. Red suffers the most bulling from the twins at feeding time.

But Liz is the one that is a mystery. Liz ignores my noisy food container, ignores fresh water and food. She sits on three golf balls and devotes her days and nights to keep them warm while laying no eggs of her own. Occasionally, I push her out of the nest, weekly I will force her to run the yard when I am feeling generous about leaving my chickens roam free for a couple hours. I am amazed to find she will fly lowly across the yard, a flight that could easily be 20 to 30 feet. I can attest to her feasting on some clover, dancing her little two step over some bare ground but before I turn my head she is heading back to the open coop door and her golf balls.

I have tested her and moved two of the golf balls four inches away from her nest. I check 30 minutes later and she has moved her "eggs" back under her. Golf balls are one of the standard tricks to encourage chickens to lay in the nest. Liz puffs up her feathers when ever I open the nest box door to look larger but she is as gentle as humming bird. The light on her feathers produces all the colors of nature bouncing off her black. Yesterday, I found she had moved a golf ball out of the other nest eight inches.

Broody hens are common in a flock and Liz is in that mood now.

hi tech and faces

It has come to my attention that the use of today's machines has caused a shift in how we relate to each other.

Now in a Doctor's office there are those that are typing away while asking questions about your health even the Doctor is part of this new system. It is reported that in hospitals that a team of interns move from room to room updating the reports on the computer, order new tests and check the meds that are on the chart all saved on the laptop. All the while, no one looks the patient in the eye or touches the skin of the person. The conversation never takes place. The patient is cared for by the means of machines and meds. It is said that the new surgeries are performed with speed by the former whiz kids of the Nintendo games. Machines have the ability to give the averages but it is the human contact that gives knowledge of individual cases.

Last year, the Google company offered a million dollars each for ten new, simple ideas that would change the world for the good of humanity. Well, after months, of delay because they received so many ideas, the top 15 ideas were finally announced and frankly, it was very disappointing. I understood the goal to be simple, inexpensive and universally easy to apply. Something in the order of a net around the bed at night to save millions from malaria or local banks loaning money to women to start businesses in third world countries. Instead, there were endless ideas about how satellites and computers will link the world about shared ideas or news. Not one of the finial ideas were free from modern machines. Recently, there was an article about the emotional immaturity of the heads of Google and I knew what it was all about.

This whole shift of interpersonal contact though machines is creating a generation that emails, cell phones and text messages but is in the process is losing the ability to read a face, understand an emotion and have empathy with another human being. If this is not developed in this generation, what will be the emotional state of the future?

If the eyes are the mirror of the soul, the touch an expression of concern and love maybe we all have to rethink the use of our machines.

The Alhambra and the pig

Those two words represent the opposite in culture but both are key to understanding Spain.

I am reading a food/travel book by John Barlow, EVERYTHING BUT THE SQUEAL. He is a good, interesting writer but I get the feeling that he needs to pick a subject because his wife wants to live at home in the area of Galicia, northern Spain. The topic is eating while traveling Galicia. Barlow has a Ph.D. and has been a college professor but in this book the object of his travels is the consumption of eating very part of the pig. He travels involve regions that most people would ignore even if time allowed for it.

This opening food fest is that of a national dish I never heard of called cocido. It is cooked for special occasion mostly in the cold winter months. After a little research on the computer, I knew this for one for me!

I went to a local butcher shop and got all the required bones, cuts of meat and produced the hearty soup yesterday. It is a wonderful peasant dish loaded with favor and impossible to make in small quantities, so it was great that Phil has a visitor and we all enjoyed it with crusty bread. Some version of this soup will become my new winter soup. The authentic recipe that I made yesterday was good for me to experience and now I understand the principles of it, I can make it for just John and me.

The importance of the pig in Spanish cooking is related to both the climate of the north and the religions of the country. Pigs eat the same diet as humans, green leafing plants and root and bulbs. This diet is best obtained in forests and rainy area of the earth. They do not have the four stomachs of cows, goats and sheep which can be penned up at night and continue to chew of the day's forgings.

The period of Moorish rule in Spain which produced the Alhambra, one of the new wonders of the world, shows the high degree of culture and sophistication of lifestyle that was enjoyed during the period. There is a quietness and simplicity that is eloquent with Moorish design that I find very attractive. I remember walking around the complex of buildings and gardens and thinking I could live here, it is built for human scale. The simplicity is really complex tile work, lattice carving and watering systems of great engineering for drinking water and gardens. The Moors that ruled lived in harmony with both the Christians and the Jews at the time and evidences of this is at the Alhambra.

In 1492 at that location, history tells two historical events took place. An Italian sailor met with Queen Isabella and in the small quiet corner room she agreed to finance his dreams of find a new route to India. Standing in the room, I have an overwhelming sense of history, unlike many I have had.

The second important event in that year was the decision by the Christian King and Queen to drive out the Moors and the Jews from Spain. This is way the love of pork comes in.

To prove that one was not a Muslim or a Jew, people watched each other to see if they ate any pork. The population of Spain become pork eaters to save their lives and families.

snail and their slime

Well, we all woke to the surprise of the new Nobel Peace Prize news including the man that won. I double checked two sites to see if it was true.

Is this America anymore? Do people want their own president to fail, to lose and to be humbled on the world stage? What is in the soul of these snails? The vile comments about this prize are telling of snail slime.

Obama made it clear that the world has to address issues of climate change, terrorism, AIDS, world poverty and peace. He wants corporation between all the nations working together. He is a sign of change in policy from the last eight years. They probably awarded him the prize because he's taken on the most thankless job imaginable. In office 10 months and has already been held accountable for at least 8 years of reckless incompetence.

Maybe there is more slime sickness in this nation and on a day like today it is explored to the light.

calendars and saints

When I was a child no one bought calendars they were free from merchants and the local parish. The whole industry of beautiful calendars with themes is growing and wasteful use of paper.

My family had one calendar in the kitchen near the phone and it was the Catholic parish calendar while I was growing up. It did include the phases of the moon, maybe even the sunrise and sunset times for the farmers in the community but mainly it was for all of to be reminded of the religious year. It marked the holy days, the moving feast days and fasting days of the church. By far, the most interesting part of the calendar for me was the names of the daily saints. The majority of them were of Medieval times and were Italian or at less it looked like Italian names to me. Images of people in long robes with veils or long beards enter my mind as I recall the nuns tells us of these saints.

I would like to modernize this practice and offer a calendar of real saints that live today, that walk among us and live with joy making the hard decisions to do the right things. They don't abandon the people that are difficult in their lives, they don't short change needs of children or old people. They take a deep breathe and get up and do the calming thing because of their core being. These people some times smoke, sometimes they booze too much and sometimes they make big mistakes in their lives. These saints in my calendar have lived life long enough to experiences some of the exceptions to the rules and have forgiven others and themselves.

It is only the young that know all the rules, the old know all the exceptions to the rules.

I would have special months for different categorizes of saints. I would take nominations each year and they would have to be the living. Dead people have it easy, they may whisper in our ear but they are not facing the choices anymore.
No one in the business of sainthood, mainly, religious organizations could put forward names for my calendar. That would feel like too much of the inside job for me. I want big famous names that put themselves on the line for the less among us and the unfamiliar names that act heroic while no one is observing them.

We all know the saints in our lives and we can all make up our calendar.

Just keep the tango going

That is how the article ended in the NYT about Alzheimer. I have personally adopted the 'one day at a time' idea but the dance imagery is equally good. I can not wrap my mind around the future and how the slow descend into nothingness will happen to John.

He reminds me, that I forgot to tell him about the children coming over or the purpose of having a small juice glass on the table or the location of his barber. John forgets his swimming shoes at the Y ... his lock at home for the Y or... where he put the bag, towel and his swimming suit before he leaves for the Y. The best, and I do smile, is when he thanks me, for putting his bag near the door for him, forgetting that he did that!

We do use a sheet of paper for some information if I have answered the question five times within the hour. I tell him he has to look at the paper for the answer. Newness, break from routine are hard on John. That is why five times a week swimming has worked so well for him, the routine has been there for three years. Mowing the grass, unloading the dishwasher, walking Daisy all activities of established routine. Sweeping the back patio would produce many questions or using the vacuum cleaner is too confusing most of the time.

John is a very good sleeper and personally very clean along with a pleasant personality so living with him is relatively easy.

John and I found a comfortable resting place with each other all the years we have been together and that has not changed. We continue the tango.

rambling thoughts

When I am not worried about the crisis of the economy or the absolute black hole of the future of this world, I enjoy the simple pleasures of things.

The wonderful truth that my grandchildren are capable of telling. The other day they were relating the surprise trip, planned by their father, to a bakery before school. Ahman's blueberry roll, "was awesome" and Mira matter of fact told me that her mother doesn't enjoy the bakery or hamburgers but the three of them do.

The peace of sitting in the late afternoon warm sunlight with John. We watch the chickens have an half hour of total freedom in the yard, my spirit is as free of theirs at these moments. Daisy sits at our feet, we have our glass of wine and discuss the little jobs that we did that day and plans for the next day.

The miracle of growing seeds never fails to amaze me. Partly, because I am good at it and partly because it is the essence of life. The planting of my orchard six years ago has proven to be rewarding in a bounty this year. It is said that young people plant a garden and older people plant trees. Of course, it makes sense, older people own property and have decided where home is. Only after age forty-five did I plant a fruit tree.

One of the joys of living in today's world is the computer and the knowledge that is at my fingertips. I wonder if I had this available as a child how different my life would have turned out. The whole world is there is learn about, questions answered and no matter what parents, school or local custom say, an individual can compare thoughts. The distance between love ones is not an issue as in past generations by way of this machine. I value my computer more than any electric item I have.

The sense of taste is more valuable to me as I age. The sweetness the sun gives to fruit, the taste of roasted spices and fresh herbs from the garden in the simplest dish and the favor of butter or fat are taken with gratitude at my age.

When I was in my mid life, I thought, people of my age now as old and probably have less intensity about thinking, doing or living life. I think aging has taught me that the outside physical body changes but the inside is ageless. In fact, as I age I am finding the core of my being and possibly my grace. I finally have the time to reflect and understand many things.

10,000 years- a serious problem

''About 92 percent of the people who take the citizenship test pass on their first try, according to immigration service data. However, Oklahoma students did not fare as well. Only about 3 percent of the students surveyed would have passed the citizenship test. Oklahoma was not the only state.

"Jefferson said that a nation can't expect to be ignorant and free." It points to a real serious problem. We're not going to remain ignorant and free.

The other night on T.V., Frank Schaeffer author of CRAZY FOR GOD was on and he said that the religious right were like the 'village idiot'. I was shocked, as he went on to say that the creationists have been brainwashed by their mother's to hate people of other religions and they are very poorly educated. They have no art, no science, no sense of American history and no study of great literature. These people, Schaeffer continued, have no reasoning ability. Forget about them in your discussion about this country, they have to be left behind.

I was very surprised to hear a former Evangelist talk so bluntly about a movement that he was involved in. Treat them like village idiots, Schaeffer said. The words were ringing in my ears.

Think for a moment about science. How is it that these people are not conscious of the anthropology, geology, biology, archeology, chemistry? These are tools to understand our living space and our bodies.

Art is an expression of our intellect and our spirit. The early signs of humans are marked by cave drawings, art objects in China, Africa and North America. The link of humanity, history of our specie is there for us to learn from. Carbon dating is proof used to date these items.

To believe that the earth is only 10,000 years old is to ignore all science.
At less on this front the Amish are honest, they don't cherry pick. They don't use the combustible engine, the modern medicine or high tech toys. All of which are the fruits of science.

These people shouting about wanting their country back are the parents to the 3% of students that can not pass a simple history quiz. Only 10% could name the first president.

There is a new name for the group.

Hazel and Henry

Since I lost Natalia as my cleaning lady months ago I have relied on Hazel and Henry. I know them, their price is right and they are available.

Today they showed up about two o'clock. Henry started in one of the bathrooms and was to follow though with that bedroom. Hazel started at the side door and into the kitchen, dining room and living room.

Henry always has lots of questions. How do I get under this bed, this is very dusty? What is best to use? I can't reach it with that? Henry tends to use the Windex on the window sill instead of the furniture polish and the foot of all furniture is too low to shine. He forgets that the bathroom wastebasket needs to be emptied as part of the plan. His effort is beyond his ability is the easiest way to explain it.

In the meantime, Hazel has put on her energizing music of guitar and 70's to set the pace for the moment. Her knowledge and standard is high but I sense her energy may not be up to speed. Oh, she starts out strong and moves, throws all those rugs out to the patio for a good shaking and she is sweeping, mopping and dusting at good rate but the sweat is showing. The CD is new, the energy is new. The dust rag is moving across the top shelve of the bookcase, the bottom of the foot stools. Piles magazines and things has been moved out of sight, a future decision.

Henry need a new job. Hazel suggests doing the panes on the French Doors to the study. Well, the right size sitting stool for the project was brought in and the spray bottle, the paper towels and the right procedure is all explained before this task is to beginning.

Daisy during all of this activity is careful to move out of the way of Hazel and Henry. She knows that most of that dog hair is hers and she is conscious of the fact that she creates an amazing amount of the dust pile.

Fortunately, Hazel and Henry can call their own quitting time and at five they served themselves a glass of wine and put up their feet.

The Bible and the Bedouins

THE SISTERS OF SINAI interested me as a book because of two things I encountered years ago.

John Singer Sargent paintings the Bedouins, the nomads that live on the edge of the desert. Those pictures are exotic and wonderful to me.

The other reason I picked up this book is that some 35 years ago I purchased a page of the Koran that dates back to the 14th century. The thought of holding something that old with all the humanity that has seen it and all the mystery of the person that transcribed it and the people that treasured it for six centuries, I like to pander all those thoughts.

THE SISTERS OF SINAI is an adventure tale of two Scottish women, Agnes and Margaret Smith, that were biblical treasure hunters. But at the core of the story are the new discoveries that they made concerning the bible. Spirited, gifted with languages skills unparalleled and fortified by the belief that their death date was already set and there was nothing to fear, they traveled and continued their search.

It is written like a novel. Many insights into the writing of the old and new testament, all religious documents for that nature. The shifting importance of political power after the of the opening of the Suez Canal and the historical importance of St. Catherine's monastery at Mount Sinai are detailed in this book. Their ability to grow intellectually though out their life as new materials coming to them is remarkable in a time when degrees were not granted to women from universities.

On all the crossing of the desert to St. Catherine's the Bedouins were the guides and the camel drivers. The relationship between the Bedouins and the monks over centuries is explored in the book and I saw Sargent's paintings as I read these pages of the book.

Since I have know so little about this part of the world and have only briefly travel there, I totally found this book gripping.

being ageless

I drove a little over 400 miles yesterday to meet her.

Maxine has a young sounding voice, white soft curling hair, clear eyes and a somewhat stooped body. The conversation floats quickly, the questions answered with gentleness and patience, always as if it was the first time she heard it asked of her.

She offered to send me the 16 plants but I wanted to see her and how she grows them. I wanted to experience how a woman lives agelessly.

Maxine's country property has been home for over forty years and it has become probably, the location of her last great passion of plant propagation. After a life of traveling the world for plants, teaching at the university level and raising a family she is devoting her curiosity to finding the best variety of the Haskap berry to grow in the United States.

The Ainu, the indigenous people of Hokkaido, a northern island of Japan has always valued the berry for medicinal use. Dr. Maxine Thompson accidentally tasted one on a trip and that was the beginning of the long journey to carrying back seeds and the beginning of a new life project.

After walking her property and seeing how her test plots are laid out we sat at the kitchen table drinking haskap juice. She told me how researchers analysis plants and what records they keep. How long it would take to decide which plants get pulled out and which plants would make her proud. She smiled and told me a number that she thinks is a good one. She gave me one of those.

My 16 plants are numbers. After reading, THE PERFECT FRUIT, I know the history of Burbank and other plant propagators. I know that plants are only numbers until they produce something amazing. I know, that some how, these people have the ability to shake off disappointment quickly and let curiosity overcome them, anew.

Maybe it is that curiosity that makes Maxine ageless.

homes and life style

During a gathering of retired people yesterday the subject of second homes in sunny locations was the topic. The discussion continue to point out the advantages of having the over 55 old limit, the pluses and minuses of fees, varieties of activities and the cost, travel and length of time involved. A couple were sharing their winter plans with all of us.

I sat there amazed that I was not interested in any of it. I have had a second home starting in my mid thirties and realize that 'it was the best of times' but want nothing of it at my age or at this time in life. Imagining sitting around my own age and listening to people talk about their last doctor appointment is educational to me, because I know little about illnesses, but in the end it is depressing. Also older people are rarely challenging with new ideas.

It came to me last week, that for years, I saved a house plan that had a walled in center court. That European design of closed in garden area with privacy appealed to me from the first time I saw it while traveling.

Enjoying my gardening last week I realized I have built my plan and did not even realize it. I have the six foot fence, the gardens, the patios, the orchard and the retreat of privacy I have always wanted. All of nature and life have movement and change and of course it is true in my yard. I am always planning how it would be better for me to move plants and create new areas for different things to grow. Now the chickens add a touch of country life to the whole space.

It was beneficial to listen to that discussion yesterday. I know myself better and I realize my blessings. I have no idea if this is my last residence but thanks to my angels and ancestors I will appreciate it more now that they reminded me of my faded house plan of years ago.

Saints and sinners

At a large party a few years ago my Manitowoc friend looked at a woman across the room and said, "You see that attractive woman in blue, she married to our dentist, she had to get married."

I turned to my friend and said, "My God in Heaven, she is 70 years old and you mention something she did 50 some odd years ago! That is the sum of her life!" That is a cartoon of a personality. A few lines that one can draw that instantly make you know that person, big chin, small eyes, large head of hair. A cartoon is probably true in nature but is missing the three dimensions, the color, the light, the shadow, the frame and the texture of the surface of a painting. A cartoon is for the simple and small minded person.

All my life I have loved the stories of people and so history is naturally something I enjoy. I have been glued to the television for a half century at each state funeral, all Congressional hearings of note and the moon landing. It is the events of history and insights of human beings that teach me about myself. These tell me how heroes act and how cowards recoil and shrink.

For the last few days, I have watched in curiosity about the funeral of Ted Kennedy. Maybe I met him, I know that winter of '59 in Wisconsin I met his two brothers. All the Catholics in my village were afraid of John becoming president, something about being an American and a Catholic at the same time.

The cartoon of Ted was destroyed for all that listen the last few days. Those that had no interest in listening or believe in the cartoon are like my friend from Manitowoc.

when Irish eyes are smiling

There's a tear in your eye, And I'm wondering why,
For it never should be there at all.
With such pow'r in your smile, Sure a stone you'd beguile,
So there's never a teardrop should fall.
When your sweet lilting laughter's Like some fairy song,
And your eyes twinkle bright as can be;
You should laugh all the while And all other times smile,
And now, smile a smile for me.

When Irish eyes are smiling,
Sure, 'tis like the morn in Spring.
In the lilt of Irish laughter
You can hear the angels sing.
When Irish hearts are happy,
All the world seems bright and gay.
And when Irish eyes are smiling,
Sure, they steal your heart away.

For your smile is a part Of the love in your heart,
And it makes even sunshine more bright.
Like the linnet's sweet song, Crooning all the day long,
Comes your laughter and light.
For the springtime of life Is the sweetest of all
There is ne'er a real care or regret;
And while springtime is ours Throughout all of youth's hours,
Let us smile each chance we get.


When asked why he worked against proverty, he asked, "Did you read the bible?"

Good Breeding

Our library is about the best I have ever visited in my years. I found a book on fruit. THE PERFECT FRUIT by Chip Brantley is charming, historical and loaded with facts that anyone that eats would enjoy reading. Then I found the author's blog and website and now that is bookmarked, cookthink.com. Too important not to share with the world.

Different views

Sometimes it is hard to understand how the same locality, the same culture, the same religious training can produce such different reactions to the same situation. It is more that native intelligence and more than education, I believe it has something to do with curiosity and fear. Not enough of the first and too much of the latter.

A couple examples come to mind. Ironically, all the yoga classes I have been in besides stretching encourage spiritualism and inner peace. Universally approved, I assume by all thoughtful people. I have had acquaintances ask if in yoga class they teach religion. It is a Hindu discipline, foreign for some but universal peace and stretching isn't to any human being.

Afraid of the unknown, Karen Brown is a scholar on the religion and spirituality but is off limits by some friends and family. They have no idea what she says on the subject and fear their beliefs are not strong enough to take the exposure of her ideas.

Besides the religious tight rope around the brain I notice there is another one related to the idea that our American systems are the best in the world. It includes our work week, the health care, the materialism, the large houses and yard, the militaristic empire we have become. Perfection has been achieved right here and now on this planet in the way we do thing. Rigidly, they repeat what they have heard and have never had the curiosity to travel and see how other people living their daily life. Nor are some interested in of how the rest of the world views us as a culture.

The largeness of Walmart is an American example of excess. It has destroyed downtown villages and towns, home owned businesses that supported families in the communities for generations. Walmart has made one family very wealthy in Arkansas and given the Chinese a chance to go from 13 cent meal to a McDonald's hamburger. Along with our jobs and quality of merchandise this change has diminished our sense of worth. Sort of like the loaf of white bread that cost a dollar. It is more air than nutrient. Walmart fills our houses with stuff but of little quality.

Today's America is showing people frighten and unprepared for living anyway but with largeness. I am disappointed, at my age, to live in a country with such needy people. I find people lack basic skills, measure what is only best for themselves and not for the community or the less fortunate. Many just want to protect their share of largeness.

My view of the world is becoming foreign in my own country.

Living

I read this morning that women are being blamed in some circles for this economic downturn. The thought goes women like the big house, they love to shop so it follows it is all their fault. Amazing to the point that I had to smile. Of course, they also shipped the manufacturing overseas, took all the steps necessary to open up the financial markets to greed and had the majority in the power structure to write the bills in congress and rule on them in the Superior Court. Amazingly, this fact plus the one that asked Conservatives in South Carolina if Hawaii is a state and 12% got the answer wrong. This is an issue about education. Our system is not teaching the ability to think or reason. Of course, Hawaii is not part of United States like women caused this recession!The news each day is a drip of more bad facts coming to light about the society that we have worked on, in the last fifty years.

I sat in the theater watching the new movie, JULIA AND JULIE and wondered my I love Paris so much. It is built to scale for humans I decided. The building are mainly four or five stories high not skycrapers, each neighborhood offers shops for all ones daily needs within walking distances and the choices are broad enough to make life interesting but not overwhelming. Yogurt is in small glass jars that are reused not large plastic tubes, crackers are in packages that will be used up before they are stale and cheese, oh cheese for the holiday, for the season and for the days of the year. Not our 5 lbs of the different three choices. They value conversations over long lunches, mother's staying home with young children and fathers spending Saturdays morning with children. Paris is the one place I could visit each year for a month.

The other thought I have had during the slow drip of bad fact daily is that for the last eight years I have been preparing for this moment. I had realized that all of this crazy world was on the way with President that lied, wars that were unpaid while tax breaks were given at the same time, a first in human history. Mortgage rates at one percent creating a housing boom and a market that moved with no relationship to production or earnings. I was building the largest vegetable garden of my life and putting in an orchard. All, at an age, my peers are talking slowing down, taking more prescriptions and fulling days with an assortment of time consuming activities.

I relate to Julia and her need to master something that gives meaning to her life. My garden, my yard producing my food and has been in the works for six years and it this is proving to have been worthy adventure. The figs are sweet, the blueberries are numerous and the tomatoes are hugh. My world is growing small but it is like Paris all within walking distance.

Health gardening issues

We got our print out of blood tests. It proves that good food makes for healthy blood. Our kidneys, heart, liver all in good shape according to our Dr. We are on the boarder line of Vitamin D. It is not the measure of sunlight, it is the blood level, the same as say Vitamin B. I have some tonic from Costco and we will start that daily.

One of the things that passed my eyes yesterday is new research show that getting the flu leaves long term damage to our brain, physically changes the brain. I found this research on Mother Jones and it was done by St. Jude's Hospital. Parkinson and Alzheimer results years later. The story reminded me of the research that showed stomach ulcers were the results of a virus and not caused by stress. The on going problem about our medical system is they make more money treating disease than finding the cause or prevention.

I guess I will really try avoiding getting the flu this winter.

The daily deceleration of culture and social order in this country makes me focus more and more my own family and small world of animals and plants. I realize that some people are frighten but the shocking thing is they have never thought for themselves and it is showing up now in a changing economy. They are turning to blame and violence instead of reason, discussion and community. I have a brother that would be homeless if it were not for the generosity of another brother taking him in. He is against health care reform with a public option. No one walking the earth, at this moment, needs the social support safety net more than him. He lost the ability to reason and think clearly is all I can assume.

My tomatoes are ripening slowly now. My winter kale is eight inches high and looking very proud. I can thank the chickens for that. Those ladies are going to add much to the vigor of my garden. The other seed starts are still indoors under the lamp.

Angels and Ancestors

How many minutes are there in a business week?

Yesterday, I matched up with the right minute and solved a problem that has been unsolvable for a month. I give credit to my ancestors or angels.

Doing a little research at a resale shop downtown Olympia because I had to fence in my chickens some how or I was to lose my gardening spaces to their habit of scratching and eating everything. I have play over in my mind the areas involved, the areas I could donate to them and the areas that I have to save for the bigger goal of growing my fruit and vegetables. Always it came up unclear to me.

An attractive couple were standing next to their van as the store owner shouted out to me, "hey, chicken fence lady, come here". I was crossing the street to get back into John's truck. As I approached the van, the shop owner was negotiating about the cedar wood and I saw a roll of chain linked fence.

"It isn't in the shop, so you guys can work out the deal, I am out of it." The young woman turned to me and said if you want fencing, we'll give it to you. I thought for a moment and could see my answer clearly. YES!

They drove across the street and lifted the fifty feet of fencing into the back of John's truck. I handed them $15 and told them to have lunch today on me. At first, they said no but then laughed and said it could be a delivery fee.

Driving home, John and I discussed the plan. Ken and Phil came over later in the afternoon and the space was marked off, steel role were pounded into the ground. Zip lock ties were used for the quick method of attaching and the new chicken yard was created. The ladies have a running space of about 8 feet by 40 among two peach and two plum trees. Lots of shade, clover and grass and a couple patches of dirty for bathing. Because the trees are dwarf trees the normal ugly fence is barely visible from the rest of the yard. Life is good for my ladies.

This summer, I tried each morning, as I walk Daisy to quite my mind and listen. Some people would use the term meditation for this, same thing. I believe wisdom comes from quiet moments and angels and ancestors watch over us and will help us if we are presence for them.

Yesterday, they put me in the right place for a minute.

Christians, revolutions and welfare queens

This morning I read that Warren Buffet is nothing but a Welfare Queen. He is gaming the system just like the insiders on Wall Street. Disappointing because he lost his power to help reform our banking system, his reputation for honesty is gone, lose forever. So is his power for good. Sad.

Blackwater owner, Prince, is being exposed as a murderer. His father's money started a couple right, fundamentalist Christian groups that had a strong impact on American politics. The history of this company and the work they did for the U.S. military is evil. Ranks right up there at the top of the historical list of crimes against humanity.

Why is it that Christian groups advocate for so much that is the opposite of Jesus Christ ? Their rules are the only rules, their reasoning is the only process of thinking about a situation, their Sunday country club is the only membership that is correct. None of it relates to the man that walked the earth and talked about a new way.

There are not right wing Hindus, Jews, Atheists out there shoving their politics into our face, forcing people to adopt a lifestyle or a moral code- they just want everyone to have a choice of living their individual lives.

Modern Christians are so far removed from Jesus and his teachings of the beatitudes that I am embarrassed for family and friends that call themselves practicing Christians. Even is they don't want to take care of the sick let others have health coverage with public option. Christians don't have to sign up! Send back your medicare while you are opposed to government plans, if that is the case.
Now they want to shut down public forms to discuss health care. Wonder what is in their hearts, is it the love of Jesus?

80% of the people that voted for McCain in the last election are the poorest educated in this country. 75% of the best educated voted for Obama. The birthers seem to be those people on the lowest step on the ladder and they can not face the fact that a black man with a scholarship education got to the White House. Who is lower on the step ladder now that a poor, white, uneducated male? Maybe those Mexicans. They can beat up on the them. It is talked about on some forms.

I am afraid that in the next few years the ignorant community listening to hate talkers on radio will assasinate Obama which could trigger a revolution in the streets of this country. There are enough guns to shot up this country population and start a revolution. Maybe it is the cleanse this country needs.

Reflections of a marriage

John was more fun, all things being equal.

I knew 30 years ago I wanted to be marriage again and I had dated many of the eligible men in Green Bay. The reason that John was most interesting to me was that he was fun to be with and had a active for each season of the year. Football games in the fall, cross country skiing in the winter and sailing in the summer, all of them were activities that were fun.

The two most endearing qualities of John are his kindness and loyalty. I knew of generous acts of his before I dated him so I was not surprised by that at all. John also have a reputation of many girl friends so the part about loyalty was a characteristic that on the surface was not known. It was there but only held for his family and his old friendships. Once you made into that level of his life, he was loyal.

I asked John last night if he remember our simple little marriage ceremony in front of my rented cabin 30 years ago in Ephraim. He has lost that picture in his mind. I describe for him how only our families were there. Thirty years ago there were lots of young people in the family. Then there was Dick Steinbrink and his lady friend of the week, who drove up the judge and his wife from Green Bay.

Two things made this wedding special for me. I had gone to Jerry's Nursery and purchased about a dozen red geraniums plants that I placed around the yard. The other little touch was the substitute for the wedding cake.

My sisters Ellen and Mary were living in the cottage that summer with my children. We had made most of the food for a simple table of finger food. I have ordered some small petite cakes from an old German couple that were bakers in Green Bay. I loved the look of those delicate cakes and in my mind it made my wedding a special moment. Those cakes and the yard filled with red geraniums.

Ken never wanted to wear a sport jacket or dress up but he had something nice on for the pictures. Susan always had one nice dress for each season the year that I bought at Alicia Children's Shop in Ephriam at the end of the season. I remember it being grey and tan dress that summer. Both of the children looked dressed for the occasion.

I shopped forever for the right understated dress and surprisingly found it at Al Johnson's shop in Sister Bay. It was a lite peach colored knit with a straight skirt and a v neck with long sleeves. My hair was long and I had colored it myself that afternoon. The color was too dark but I was not letting anything cloud my mind with disappointment so I ignored it and put it up. Only my sisters and I knew that it was too dark. My sister, Kathy, was always good with a camera and I look at those pictures of that day and remember feeling pretty.

John's marriage was a major event for the Murphy family. He had remained a bachelor so long and, even then his mother, was not looking at this event with joy only resignation. His brothers on the other hand were supportive along with the extended family that were not presence.

Over the years I probably have taken care of John more than the other way around. John's decisions making skills were hampered by fear of a mistake. My view of life is that time is limited and I have to make the most of it. I have therefore made most of our decisions in our marriage about our homes, travel or investments. John's loyalty to me allowed this to work. Often he feared change, frequently worried about reaction from his family but in the end, I could calm him down and he was supportive.

Each marriage creates a spirit that is totally new. Early in my marriage I realized that I had to find somethings from other people to make my life full because my curiosity was much larger than John's. I have gathered interesting people at different periods of life to full this need. I have pursued interests and studied to round out those needs.

He traveled the world with me but had little interest in any of it. He has seen far corners of countries, many museums, UN Hertiage Site around the global but in the end, it was the little child standing in front of him that charmed him the most. Maybe that is also the charm of John and why I still find him a wonderful man.

John does not remember our wedding or many details about our history but he still ends each evening by saying, "Well, I had a good day today. Got a couple things done. How about you? Did you have a good day? " After a short discussion, John always finishes the day with, " I love you".

We went to the Daisy Queen yesterday and got a ice cream cone, medium size. We both laughed about how wonderful it made us feel.

My yard

Partly it was the very hot weather and partly it are the chickens but my yard is changing. It is losing the look of an suburban manicured place to host gatherings. I noticed walking across the straw like grass that there is chicken manure all over the place. Maybe it's this the heat and we spend half of the time outdoors that we normally do but I am seeing a evolution going on this summer. All my lilies are in bloom at one time and the yard is a perfume factory. The lavender on the other side of the area is home to a hundred bumble bees at the moment.

We haven't been putting away tools this past month. Of course, there is a good reason for that, the shed is home to a hornets nest right inside the door at waist high and we are avoiding the trips to visit them. I believe in the balance of nature so it is hard for me to just kill all of them and the man that is professional in this field doesn't return my phone calls. Leaving the hand tools on the sides of the raised beds does save me the time and energy of getting them out each day. This evening between the bumble bees, the assorted other flying pollinators the garden has a concert of tiny noises. I recognize it as a balance of nature but at the same time I am turning over this property ownership to the creatures. May be it is the other way around, I am simply sharing their space.

The issue of the patio collecting these stains of the chickens and tiny feathers that are now floating around offers more of a look for a country home than a city house. I have also added a couple more watering stations to service the birds during this hot weather so the yard has more of untidy look, actually more of the Tuscan rental than a Olympian house.

On the west side of the lot we have put in the three poled t bars for the kiwis. Eventually it will look to the untrained eye like another grape arbor. I have plans to add four more raised beds toward the back of the lot next to the other raised beds. All gardeners know that rotation is the answer to healthy planting and I need more beds to achieve this. My passion for the garden grows with each season.

Books, egg and heat

I have just finished a book about ethnic American gardens by Patricia Klindienst. I was moved to tears a couple times because of the tales of immigrants and their determination to survive. THE EARTH KNOWS MY NAME is not likely to get a large audience but between the fine writer, she teaches creative writing at Yale and the research she has done for this book, it is a loss for all Americans don't read it, but especially for those that value working in the soil and enjoy the beauty of plants.

The book travels from one coast to the other, from culture to culture using the stories of ancestors, seeds and techniques to frame the common plot of all people. Besides the historical tales of the book, the author's own sensitivity and abilities are what makes this book so unique.

Another book that has caught my attention is SECOND SPRING. It is one of those pick up anytime, to read a few pages, type of book. Dr. Maoshing Ni gives hundreds of natural secrets for women to age healthy and vibrantly. I think I will buy my own copy and use it as a reference book.

A miracle happened yesterday, our first, blue, small egg. It was Autumn, the Americana laying hen that has started our official egg production.

The chickens has been surprising in a few ways. First, I never would have guessed that I would let them roam the yard as much as I do. We had a week of extreme hot weather and they needed to have the cool watered earth to dig into and also often make nesting places for resting. They move around the backyard in a system that shows they are staying out of the heat and bright sun. I also find them nosier that I would have thought. Now I have two families of crows that live in the woods over the fence so I am use to loud birds but these ladies of mine can also be very demanding of attention. The third item is funny but they love to pick at my red toe nails. Now I am on guard about that habit of theirs.

John has a new job because of them, he is on patrol with the shove a couple times a day checking out droppings on our patio. I will not write the monologue that is going on during these times. There are moments that the five of them stand at the back door, looking into the house, waiting to be invited in. That is all we can assume. We find them amusing but really for them to be waiting for that invitation is a bit much! Daisy in the meantime acts as if they are invisible.

Now daily trips to the coop have the added interest of looking for eggs. I will keep you posted on that count.

a banker's view and eggs

John and I talk to a investor banker yesterday because we are moving our IRA's. This guy in his forties repeated things that his boss had been told by a guy higher up that attended a video conference from a talking head from Wharton School of Economics who is frequently on CNBC. A perfect example of the trickle down theory in place. I understood immediately that the gentleman sitting in front of me knows nothing about investments nor does he thinks for himself. He is the same type of the robot that worked for big brokerage houses that sold Madoff's paper, that pedaled stocks that Merrill Lynch pushed or Smith Barney list of top stocks to own.


We, as a society, have lost the ability to reason and question. What items do we make in this country as you walk around our homes? What is it that your neighbors are doing for jobs? Are they happy with pride in their skills or are they working because if they quit they will have no health insurance? The sign of our society collapsing is all around us.


Jim Roger, the investor guru, says most currencies last about 70 years. It take little math to figure out the days of this empire are sliding. Our currency is based on debt now, backed by nothing and the printing presses are rolling at the will of a small group of men connected to the financial markets.


The banker was amazed that I was not believing in the 'green shots'.

I believe in self reliance these days. I am more conservative than my Republican friends, I plan of how I can build a network of surviving in this community with the help of a few family members and friends. That is why I have studied about rotating my vegetable beds, and how many seed starts I need for a fall garden and the best ways to preserve my tomatoes from this summer's garden. I am learning about keeping my laying hens healthy so I have eggs all year around. This is the way, all people lived until the last 50 years. There is nothing new about this.


I did not tell the banker about self reliance, he would not understood.
This banker will not control my investments, he knows nothing about fresh eggs.

short car trip

John and I went on a short trip exploring the state of Washington. We focused on scenic roads, points of interest in the state that we had not seen and a leisurely pace.

It was a wonderful to see the summer season across the state with the field crops in place, the mountain roads were clear of snow and the festivals in full swing. We saw mountains with snow caps reflected in high altitude lakes, wheat fields in every direction for 25 miles and fewer than three farm houses or stands of trees in the view. We drove though forests on pines on the other side of the state on the Indian reservation and visited an old Indian school set up in the last century for the purpose of undoing their culture. Read the marker about Chief Joseph and saw the town where he is buried. Sadly, the pine saw mills are closing with this economy and the unemployment is raising in those communities.

We traveled along the Columbia river for miles and crossed it numerous times. Coulee Dam is a mile long with three power generators but the facts that speak the loudest is that is was built during the Depression with three shifts of workers for nine years toiling around the clock. At Rocky Reach Dam we visited the museum that explains the geographic history of the river and the human history connected to the river. On the Columbia River there are eleven dams creating many lakes and much of the power for the west coast.

Two ideas struck me while in that area. The dams make the agriculture possible for much of that end of the state. The water is used in the wheat fields and the majority of the fruit industry for irrigation. All created by the federal government, big projects financed out of D.C. That population votes GOP, they don't believe in big government. The second disconnect for me is the science of geology and all earth science telling the story of landscape in it 's true rawness there. Yet, there are the fundamentals populating that part of the state believing in the seven day story of creation. Park the truck with the combustible engine, turn off the electric lights and stop using modern medicine, all are the results of modern science. There is a link of science and daily life.

I enjoy car trips but John is now confused and stressed by the break of our routine life so I don't think I will be doing any of them for a while. The evening we were in Spokane talking about going out for dinner he asked me how many days we were staying in Milwaukee. At that moment, I realized just how stressed this traveling had become for him and felt it was time to go home.

destine for long service

The small hocked rug in an old kitchen that badly needed remodeling did catch my eye. The peach colored flowers and the pale green leaves that boarded them were beginning to fade but yet it was someone's handy work.

Over the next 25 years the kitchen got remodeled twice, the rug got moved to the more distant corners of the upper bedrooms and corner porches of the big house. Still, I could never bring myself to throw out the rug. It even made the truck for the big move to the west coast.

First it landed as the rug in the garage at the kitchen door, then it found a home in the tool shed adding a homey touch to the new Asian looking structure. The colors can still be identified, it is probably now 50 years old but carries itself with little actual wear. Today it will have whole new service life.

Chickens are raised in most urban sittings for two reasons their eggs and their manure. The eggs, of course, are organic, healthier and at hand. Manure is prize for the compost pile and is used as fertilizer on the vegetable beds. The mixture of fresh grass cuttings, chicken manure, little soil and water need to be covered with a blanket type object to create heat. New carpet pieces would have all the chemicals of the modern world and would undo the mission of organic living. My dear beloved 3 by 5 rug that has been part of my life for over 30 years is being moved into service. It is funny have some items in life connect the thread of our lifes.

learning with Daisy

Each morning around six, Daisy and I go for a walk. I get my sleepy body moving by the time the coffee pot has one large cup of coffee made and off we go to the nearby Chehalis trail.

Daisy leads with her nose and I follow with my eyes. We relate to the world by different senses. This blacktopped trail is about as wide as generous car lane near my house as it cuts though what remains of an old lumbering forest. A few of the fir that missed the two attempts of clear cutting still stand but closer to the lane are the younger trees of the last thirty years. The underbrush is cleared for four feet on each side and all the limbs of the trees are cut up to ten feet as respect to the fast moving bikers that use the trail during the week.

Each day I find new things I missed before. The foxglove and daisy flowers are in bloom now but today I notice two little patches of wild sweet peas. This flower reminds me of the 25 years of living in Door County, Wisconsin where wild sweet peas and Queen Anne's Lace were the stamp of color for summer.

The Himalaya blackberries blooms are white, five pedals and about the size of a large California strawberry. They cover openings on the landscape where sunlight warms them during the middle of the day. My favorite patch maybe replaced by two new areas I have found that I will not have to share with so many trail walkers.

The crows usually announces us at the start of our walk and the small birds relay the message of a dog in the area as we continue the walk along the path. The sight of a rabbit kill during the night is found at less one a week as they must be the bottom of the food chain for many of the animals in this forest. I have heard the coyotes during the night and elk in the very early morning hours. They have never shared the path with Daisy and me but I have heard of sightings from others in the neighborhood.

Modern peoples believe only humans have souls but most indigenous peoples around the world believed that animal, plants and even rocks have souls. I assume that the different could be that modern day people spend so little time in nature that they have lost the ability to sense the spirits that are in the natural world. While walking in the morning, I feel a peacefulness and a relate to my surroundings in a manner that we are one, this leads me to believe earlier people may have had more knowledge than I do. The opportunity to live this part of my life in such a comfortable place is truly a blessing.

These early morning walks remind me what the author of the book AGING WITH GRACE writes. In our twenties we spend all our energies finding out about who we are, how we will fit in and who will love us. In our middle years we identify with our careers, our possessions and achievements. Finally in our third period of life we take what we have learn and see the wisdom of it all.

Now with more time to think and sense my world, I see more and complete the meaning of events. These walks are sorting the wisdom for me.